Bunny mailbag: So I herd u leik Cablegate?

Added on by PS Cat02.

Today's featured e-mail, from "Efren":

Hey there fools. I am dropping by to give you a friendly reminder that this time you and your so-called allies are outnumbered by absolutely everyone smart enough to read a newspaper regarding the Wikileaks of U.S. cables. Even the most liberals are condemning this unauthorized release of government secret. I'm sure you still can find some lame reason to support treasonous acts such as selling out your own country and endangering the lives of countless allies around the world. I expect nothing less from infoterrorists such as yourselves. So tell me how do you call it this time around? Ready to apologize for supporting Wikileaks? or still sticking to your loyalties against a montain of evidence. I will appreciate an answer but don't embarrass yourself too much


Dear Efren,
I think you are mistaken. Like you, I am also deeply troubled by the most recent leaks by Wikileaks. I am worried that international diplomacy will no longer be able to function as it always has in the past - with dignity, compassion, transparency, and democracy as its guiding principles. I happen to have a few friends in the (cat) diplomatic corps and they are currently FREAKING OUT that their game has been very publicly spilled all over the interwebs for everyone to see understand (please don't tell anyone, this is a secret between you and me). The important question for now is: How will we (God-fearing citizens) hold Wikileaks (jerks) responsible for their very naughty troublemaking? This is serious! Because of Wikileaks, the mutual respect and cooperation which now characterizes relations between nations may potentially become imperiled. None other than Wikileaks is to blame if governments were to suddenly begin treating ordinary people as mere cannon fodder or gambling bits. I shudder to imagine a world like this.
Efren, perhaps you can help me with a certain analytical puzzle I am working on. Pinky and I took several well-circulated quotes from Monday's and yesterday's news reports and tried to decipher them, from professional politician-speak into something that we can more easily understand. To guide our translation we followed the logic and interests exhibited in the cables themselves - not a problem, I assume, as I've yet to hear anyone challenge the authenticity or veracity of the cables or their contents. The real problem, unfortunately, is that Pinky and I are only on the first quote and are already hopelessly stuck - perhaps we could borrow some intellectual horsepower to help us along? (*hint hint*) For some reason we simply cannot reconcile the disturbing implications of the translated comments with the honorable intentions of the sample politician (judging by her comments, I'm sure she's highly qualified to remark on the subject of honor). So, if you would be so kind, please reply with all significant elements from the quote below ideologically sorted and mapped with respect to whatever aspect(s) of this most recent Wikileaks disaster you find most alarming. (As soon as possible please, we would like to move on to Sample B!) Thank you.
Your friend,


[ Sample A: Hillary Clinton: from the Guardian UK; translations by Pinky & Bunny in red ]

Clinton told reporters corporate media functionaries at the US state department: "It is an attack exposé on of the international community of governmental, corporate, and military elites, the alliances and partnerships which allow us to maintain our dominance over the world citizenry-at-large, the conversations and negotiations secret back-room deal-making between us, that safeguard extracts maximum use-value from the universally accepted narrative of global security and advance economic prosperity while intensifying our exploitation of labor, resources, and strategic potential all across the planet." ...[Clinton] predicted: "I am confident that the any "mutually beneficial" business partnerships on one hand, or arm-twisting on the other, that the Obama or previous administrations has have worked so hard to build impose, will withstand these challenges in the end amount to offers very few will dare to refuse."